Living on Music

Music can be the best healer. I still have not forgot the times when I took to music just because I had to control my temper. I was loosing my temper very frequently and on everyone for petty things. When I decided i had to overcome this, I went to a natural therapist to learn meditation and he advised me to listen to soft music. It is here that I started spending quite some time on music.

I loved rock initially and had a good collection of rock stars like Motorhead. Then gradually my likes changed and I took to pop and then the change was to country music like that of Jim Reeves and Cliff Richards. But, whatever the music that you enjoy, music provides a certain direction to life. It give you time to relax and live life to the fullest.

Live concerts are another way of spending some quality on yourselves, while relaxing and enjoying music. Keep looking out for live concerts in your areas and for companies sponsoring them so that you can catch hold of the tickets before they sell-off.

For those of you who are ardent fans of Madonna tickets for her Sticky & Sweet Tour of Europe are now available. The concerts are to happen all over Europe in the entire of August and September. The first concert of the tour was in the Millenium Stadium in Cardiff on 23rd August. Madonna tickets Cardiff concert was a complete sellout and the concert was jam-packed. The next of the concerts to happen in the United Kingdom is on 11th September at the Wembley Stadium, in London. Rush to book your Madonna tickets London concert today itself so that you can spend some time enjoying the music, away from your daily hectic schedules.

Filed under: Travel and Living , Add new tag, Concerts, leisure, music

An alcholics banner

This is what a banner in an alcoholic’s room read like -

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would
have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

Filed under: Alcohol jokes, Drunkard jokes , Add new tag, Alcohol jokes, Drunkard jokes, humor, jokes

Pole dancing

Filed under: Funny pictures, jokes , Add new tag, Funny pics, humor

Qualification

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane

When the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that
flights go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and
said to the stranger,
‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer
excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a
horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence,
thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’
To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to
discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?’

Filed under: Kids jokes, jokes , Add new tag, funny jokes., humor, jokes, Kids jokes

Troubleshooting Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 : )
Dear Tech Support team:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the ‘uninstall’ doesn’t work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!

Thanks,
“A Troubled User”

———————————————————-
REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
not to allow this.

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, weep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install GoodLookingSecretary 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Filed under: Office jokes, jokes , Add new tag, humor, jokes, trouble shooting jokes

The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey

Have you heard the story of ” The Washer man and the Foolish Donkey” ?

To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn’t bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story ” One must not engage in duties other than his own”

Now take a new look at the same story…

The washer man () was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey’s extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog’s life didn’t change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a ” meets requirement” . Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as ” star performer”. The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

Filed under: Office jokes, jokes , Add new tag, funny jokes., humor, jokes, Office jokes

Recruitment Outsourcing

Blogging has helped me in many ways. I was an absolute illiterate when it came to the internet and its resources about a couple of years back. But today I have learnt a lot. I learnt everything about the internet, websites, designing them, making money out of them and living them. My blog – Live a joke, was just a medium for having fun. But as I blogged I learnt from my blogger friends that they use blogs for lot other things and many a time they even get their jobs outsourced. That made me wonder at the power of blogging.

It is not just jobs that are being outsourced but there are people who are outsourcing their recruitments even. One of my blogger friend who owns a small company now, was the one who made me aware about this. His entire office recruitment activity was outsourced. That is where I got to learn about ”Tate”. These people were experts in office recruitment.

For people who are setting up their offices and do not want to get into the hassles of recruitments, ‘Tate’ is the best solution. My friend had initially put in some work into recruitment. When he couldn’t get a receptionist he was fed up and decided to get in touch with ‘Tate’. They knew the exact requirements for receptionist jobs. Before my friend could realize his probelm was solved. Then why would he look for somebody else to get a personal assistant, when he knew that Tate could take care of PA jobs  as well. Their services in all recruitment needs pertaining to office jobs are excellent and my friend had an excellent feedback for them. This is where blogging helps our blogger community. We would never get to know of these excellent services, had we not been into blogging.

In the meantime, read my jokes and live it.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Add new tag, blogger, blogging solutions